Having and using healthy boundaries - in relationships with other human beings -
is an essential self-protection tool. We cannot effectively work on recovery
until we develop healthy boundaries. This is because until we develop healthy
boundaries, we will not feel safe enough with others to risk being authentic
with them.
If we are being abused now, or if we used to have boundaries but forgot how to use them during an abusive relationship, it is especially important that we learn how to develop and use healthy personal boundaries to protect ourselves from being taken advantage of. We may also need to learn how to recognize and respect the personal boundaries of others, so that we will not abuse or take advantage of them.
Some
survivors of abuse and neglect may not believe that they have the right to even have
personal boundaries. This usually occurs when a victim is conditioned - by
others - to sacrifice the victim's personal wants, needs, relationships,
possessions and more for the sake of the others.
Survivors may need to process their abuse and/or neglect histories with trained professionals and other support people before they are able to understand that they do deserve - and are worth - having personal boundaries.
Use these links to learn more about healthy boundaries and how to develop them.
Boundaries:
What are they...why do I need them
Couples
and Interpersonal Boundaries
Emotional
Boundaries in Relationships
Establishing
Healthy Boundaries in Relationships
Self-Love:
Your Esteemed Self
These books may also be helpful.
Better
Boundaries: Owning and treasuring your life
Boundaries
and Relationships: Knowing, protecting and enjoying the self
Boundaries
in Human Relationships: How to be separate and connected
Boundary
Power: How I Treat You, How I Let You Treat Me, How I Treat Myself
(workbook)
Disclaimer
No part of the Healing Journey recovery website is to be used as a substitute for professional therapy. If you need professional support, please contact a qualified ministerial or mental health professional. Materials in this website may be printed or copied for personal use only. Readers are welcome to agree or disagree with any statements made in this website, and may benefit from sharing and discussing them with support persons.